Are You Ready for the Test?

Saturday, I co-hosted a teaching on John 11. This is the story of Lazarus, and there was a question posed…

Are you ready for the test?

Well… my answer was, "I don’t think so, because I am unsure of how to move in this moment". My mind is tired, my heart is tired and I’m completely over this journey. I’m not happy, but I have hope!!! Every time I think I know where I’m going and what I’m doing, a curveball is thrown my way.

I don’t want to go back to nursing, but that’s all I truly know that’s going to produce the income I need to be completely self-sufficient. I HATE the way I feel when I need support from others as it relates to my personal needs! Business, Ministry… 100% OK....

But personal life… not OK at all!!!

So… Nursing it is!!!

A part of me wants to go back to Buffalo to work and begin saving so that I can leave financially stable. The public transportation and ability to walk/bike anywhere allows me the independence I desire. I really do not like my city at all!!! It’s miserable there; however, I have my children, transportation, support from those who I know love and value me (although they work my nerves🤦🏾‍♀️) and able to return to nursing IMMEDIATELY!

What do I do???

I spent all this money coming down here… I spent all this money transferring my license… Even the hassle of traveling with all these bags😞

I feel like I should’ve stayed my ass at home😢

Now… What do I do???

Run because it’s not what I expected, or stay and work it out???

We can’t live our lives running from place to place, situation to situation, or person to person… sometimes we have to look at ourselves instead of the things around us. Make a decision and walk intentionally, every day to manifest the life you desire!!!

I’m NOT running back to Buffalo!!! I made a choice and I’m going to thug it out, curveballs and all! I’m going to use the wind to propel me. I have a goal to have my kids here with me by Christmas and that’s what I’m going to do. I’ll take whatever position needed, stack this bread and find me a 3 bedroom quickly. Then, I can slow down once my babies are here. I just really wish I still had my car; things would be so much easier. But I’m going to work what’s in my reach😪

““Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died. But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.” Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.””

John 11:21-24 NIV

I feel like Martha… “Lord if only you would show up, I would be able to manifest the things you spoke to me pertaining to this move. But I know your will and way is much greater than my own.”

“Jesus said to her, “Your brother will rise again.” Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.” Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” “Yes, Lord,” she replied, “I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who is to come into the world.””

John 11:23-27 NIV

I know the Lord has greater for me, and now is not the time to be sitting on my hands trusting Him to make a way. He has given me resurrecting power and authority over my life and it’s time for me to walk in it!!!

For so long I’ve looked at this text all wrong. I been walking in the power of Martha, when I’m supposed to be standing in the shoes of Jesus!!! I AM the Son of God, and I shall have whatever I ask by the Power of the Holy Spirit that dwells in me‼️

So It Is… AMEN🙌🏾

The test is knowing who you are!!

Enough of my burden… I pray my venting session blesses someone’s soul!!! Take off your graveyard clothes and walk in the LIFE that God has destined for YOU❤️🙌🏾